and rudeness.: Dear House,

Welcome
to my blog.

I am a girl named Ryan.

Yes, a girl. Always been one... Will ALWAYS be one. I am also a daughter, sister, wife, mother and graphic designer. I blog here to share the stories of how I can some how manage to be all of those titles & SOMEHOW stay sane. If thats what you call it.

If you need me for anything or have a question about something... please email me at ryanikon@gmailDOTcom.

and about rudeness.

and rudeness
of the week.

fastlane rudeness.

You know when your schedule is so busy you dont even have time to stop and think? And you cant even remember what day it is? But all you know is you have to be somewhere NOW and you have to go to the store NOW and you have to drop off something NOW and you have to GO NOW AND DO NOW AND BE NOW! And OMG! I am in the fastlane, been stuck here for 3 days and I dont think I'm getting out for a couple more days.

and rudeness.

and old rudeness.

and find rudeness.

Dear House,

So. Well. Holy Crap. There is something we need to discuss. This has gone on long enough and I can't stand it anymore! Is your goal to make me lose my mind?

Well, it's working. Everyday I wish your problem will have resolved itself. But no. And a little more of my mind vanishes. I have tried to help you out. I have gone out on a limb and fallen from the tree. Hard. And OooOW that hurt.

You flat up stink. STINK! You hear me? Nasty. Icky. Gross. I don't want to hurt your feelings but if this is how it is going to be...

I have spent more time in your basement in the last week trying to discover your "mystery nasty dead smell" than I have spent sleeping, eating or brushing my teeth. This has got to stop! Your purpose is to be here for me. For my family. And now they all think I am insane. And YOU are so on my shit list. At the top.

I go into your basement... sniff out your "grossness" and can only locate it the direct area surrounding the washer and dryer. Do you have any idea what I have been up to thanks to you?

1. Had to wiggle around the dryer vent hose (all freaking 20 feet of it) thinking you had put a dead something in it. Nope.

2. After being convinced you let something crawl up into my washer and die, I slowly took apart the back to look inside... Nothing.

3. Wriggled the washer and dryer all over the place thinking you let something die under it and it was stuck. And DAMN that is loud on a cement floor. But. Nada.

You see, I am losing my mind. All I can think about is that something crawled into your basement and died. Something died in the basement. NOW, I can't even go down there without Mr. Bubba. Thanks alot. I am suppose to be the strong one you know. Bitch.

4. Had the parents come over to "smell you out." And whatcha do? Stop smelling all together. Not a single whiff. So now I am lead to believe that not only did something come in here to die, something came and ate what died.

You see how insane you are making me!!

And not but 2 hours later I go into your basement again. Smacked in the face with icky dead smell. What the hell! You DO know we are trying to sell you. I neeeed to sell you. And you aren't being a team player. At all.

Thanks for nothing. I'm not cutting your lawn this week. Don't make me go two.

Very upset with your stink,
Ryan

Posted by and rudeness on Monday, September 18, 2006 at 7:35 PM
Post a Comment	\|	Permalink	\|	View Comments


I bet everyone says it's all in your head too. And the house is laughing. How annoying. Hope you can show the house who's boss!!
Posted by Brenda	\|	September 21, 2006 7:16 AM