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| I am a girl named Ryan. |
| Yes, a girl. Always been one... Will ALWAYS be one. I am also a daughter, sister, wife, mother and graphic designer. I blog here to share the stories of how I can some how manage to be all of those titles & SOMEHOW stay sane. If thats what you call it. |
| If you need me for anything or have a question about something... please email me at ryanikon@gmailDOTcom. |
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| fastlane rudeness. |
| You know when your schedule is so busy you dont even have time to stop and think? And you cant even remember what day it is? But all you know is you have to be somewhere NOW and you have to go to the store NOW and you have to drop off something NOW and you have to GO NOW AND DO NOW AND BE NOW! And OMG! I am in the fastlane, been stuck here for 3 days and I dont think I'm getting out for a couple more days. |
| and rudeness. |
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AND flat-out-downright-nasty-dirty RUDENESS!
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I would for sure not be entertaining you with anything new if I asked if you have been over to Dooce's site lately.I know everyone here is guilty of browsing her site. I know and admit that I am a dirty Dooce lover. Have been for awhile. I might have even been known to use the words dooce and orgasm in the same sentence.
Anyways, I have never commented on her site. By the time I get there and its been 3 minutes since she posted, 134 people have already told her everything I was going to say. Plus things I wish that I had been as creative and witty to say. REGARDLESS....
I was there today and excited to see that she was doing her Post from Emails segment. She can turn anything humorous and seems to have an amazing talent to just brush things off. But as I read. And reread. And blinked to make sure I wasnt making things up... I was outraged!! I am continually amazed at the rude, inconsiderate, assholes that make up this crazy place called Earth.
Catherine decided it would be a great idea to throw up her rudeness right into Dooce's inbox. I am amazed that people can come up with such hateful, awful things and spat them at someone they don't even know. Sure we know alot about Dooce. She opens up and lets us in. But that doesnt mean we know EVERYTHING.
Why do people have to so self absorbed? So inconsiderate of other people feelings. It's people like this Catherine that make me sad for my daughter. I may be a little biased but I think my daughter has the kindest heart, the greatest smile and purest intent. And yes, I know with confidence I can say that of my 2 year old. If she accidentally kicks one of her toys? She will pick it up give it a hug and apologize like she has just knocked over the line of dominos I had been setting up for the last 25 years.
I am sad because I know there is going to be a day that she comes home and cries into her pillow because someone made fun of her. Called her a name. Broke her down. I remember the days... I was redheaded, boy-named, brace-faced, four-eyed, big-boobed AND taller than anyone in the 6th grade. Don't forget the bad buzz cut too! My peers where RUTHLESS. And I still suffer from the side effects. to. this. very. day.
No one knows the true torments in your life. No one KNOWS EXACTLY what you have been through or are going through. We as humans try to find understanding and support in our darkest times and from time to time can relate to others. But no one has a right to pass judgment on anyone.
Truth be told. Whats your first thought when I tell you that I am on welfare? Seriously. I am. I have been for almost 3 years now. I receive free health insurance, food stamps and WIC. Just yesterday I had to sit in my new social workers office as she starred down her nose at me while I tried to explain to her everything that lead me to the point I am at now. I had to admit that I couldnt make it on my own. And that I am doing everything I can to make life better. She doesnt know that I silently cry into my pillow at night cause I hate that I had to ask for help in the first place. That my husband and I eat 98 cent frozen dinners everyday for lunch so my daughter can eat healthier and get everything she needs, no matter the cost. That I have had the same wardrobe for 3 years, feeling guilty every time I needed a new pair of socks or underwear cause mine just vanished into thin air. Lets not even go into the fact that I have only 2 bras. One of them being an old nursing bra. Or that I cut my husbands hair to save money.
No, she looks down her nose at me and accusingly questions my every answer. That look in her eyes like, shhhhuuu, thank GOD my children turned out better. Or what the hell were you doing having a child in the first place? In the three years that I have had to ask for state assistance, not ONCE was I treated kindly, asked if I was really, really doing okay or if I just needed someone to talk to. I've just been labeled as a poor excuse of a parent and yet another person sucking money from everyone else's paycheck.
Wow, did I just go off? Eh. I have my moments. I can't believe I just told the world I am on welfare but it all seemed to fit.
Maybe what I am trying to get at... is lets all take a moment to say something nice to someone. Compliment them. Hold a door open. Smile at that person that never does. Clap for yourself. Cap for someone else.
Just dont judge others hastily. Or ever for that matter.
And make sure to think bad thoughts about Catherine.
(I am kidding.)
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| Posted by
and rudeness
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Thursday, January 25, 2007
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9:47 PM
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Good post! I do not for the life of me understand why people are always so unforgiving and un-understanding. Seriously, it makes such a huge difference in my day when someone takes 10 seconds to open a door or someone reaches over and lights my cigarette. I do not understand why more people can't be that way. I used to think that when you give of yourself like that (even for really sacrificial things) that it is okay because eventually someone else will do the same for you. But so many people just take and take. You open the door for someone and instead of them opening the door for someone else, they piss and moan that they missed their elevator. WTF?
I think you are totally on track. And, hon, you got nothing to feel bad about with WIC and stuff. You have the most beautiful, loving and healthy daughter in the world. You may use gov't $ to buy food, but God, you give back to everyone else in so many ways. You are one of the kindness and most generous spirits I know.
I love you and miss you.
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| Posted by
Erinzillaud
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January 26, 2007 7:00 AM
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Excellent post! I totally agree with you. For the record, I too am on public assistance (my kids and I are on Medicaid, and we've been on and off WIC over the years) and I've never met a worker who wasn't condescending. Luckily a lot of our friends and family have been in the same situation so we don't get judged by them, but it always amazes me that people assume that because you're poor, you're stupid and irresponsible too. But maybe if they bothered to ask they'd find that we've living on a graduate student's stipend because I've never been able to find a job that would pay for daycare and give me and my kids affordable health insurance.
Anyway, sorry to go off like that, I know that wasn't even particularly the point of your post, but in a way, that kind of is the point. People know a few things about you so they assume the rest when it would be much nicer and fairer to give people the benefit of the doubt, and to show them kindness regardless.
By the way, I've never read Dooce, but I'm heading over there to check her out now. :)
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| Posted by
Heidi
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January 26, 2007 8:24 AM
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Wow. It truly amazes me how sad and pathetic some people must be to make comments like that. Just a quick comment about Catherine...she claims she is working and she potty trained her 2 yr old....ummmm, it's probably more like the daycare potty trained the child, so yeah, of course it's easy for her.
Anyway, I totally agree with you on the whole being nice and not judging. I really think if more people had Jesus as their Savior and lived a life like Christ, there would be much less awful things in this world.
I'm sorry you have to go through all that. ((Hugs)) You are doing all you can to make sure your precious Bubba is healthy, happy, and taken care of. That's what a good mommy does, and you are one of the best!! Just remember that. :)
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| Posted by
Brenda
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January 26, 2007 8:48 AM
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| Great post, I read dooce's page that is crazy! I to am getting assitance and know eactly how u feel, the women workers are horrible but I must say i have a man caseworker and believe or not hes so nice and helpful, u should try to switch and get a man! lol Ppl wanna judge to quick its safe, why take the less travled road and actually get to know someone? They usually dont relize on how much they will miss out
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January 26, 2007 9:05 PM
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