to my blog.
I am a girl named Ryan.
Yes, a girl. Always been one... Will ALWAYS be one. I am also a daughter, sister, wife, mother and graphic designer. I blog here to share the stories of how I can some how manage to be all of those titles & SOMEHOW stay sane. If thats what you call it.
If you need me for anything or have a question about something... please email me at ryanikon@gmailDOTcom.
and about rudeness.
and rudeness
of the week.
fastlane rudeness.
You know when your schedule is so busy you dont even have time to stop and think? And you cant even remember what day it is? But all you know is you have to be somewhere NOW and you have to go to the store NOW and you have to drop off something NOW and you have to GO NOW AND DO NOW AND BE NOW! And OMG! I am in the fastlane, been stuck here for 3 days and I dont think I'm getting out for a couple more days.
and rudeness.
and old rudeness.
and find rudeness.

All week long I have sat down at my computer and "Signed in" to Blogger with every intention to post but I sit here. And sit here.

And sit here some more...

With nothing to say.

Cause once upon a time I was taught that if you dont have anything nice to say, then you dont have anything to say at all.

When I started blogging I promised myself that I would only blog about happy things. Nice things. Fun things. That there wouldnt be any negativity in what I shared with others. I mean there is the ranting and raving on a normal basis but seriously? That is all surface stuff.

Well. Lets fast forward to were I am now.

I am stuck.

I have so much that I want to share because I want to get it off my chest. But really?

Who would want to hear it?

I want to post happy things about how freaking adorable my daughter is and all the cute things she does every day.

But I cant move past how annoyed, frustrated and DISGUSTED I am with my husband right now.

Or how all I want to do is quit my job because I cant stand how condescending and backstabbing all the bitches I work with are.

Or how terrified I am about mortality and my medical condition.

Or if one of my vehicles breaks down on more time I am going to have a nervous breakdown and beat the thing to DEATH with my bare hands.

Jesus Christ. I cant believe I just said all that. How in the HELL did we think when we were 18 that life was going to be BETTER? HA. Like, all we had to do was move out and everything was going to be FABULOUS?

I mean, dont worry folks, I am MUCH more mature that what you are probably thinking right now. I knew at 18 years old and ONE DAY it wasnt going to be fabulous but damn, I was kinda hoping EVENTUALLY it would get better.

Oy vay. I think it time for bed. Hopefully you made it to the end of this post... and thanks for listening.
Posted by and rudeness on Sunday, November 04, 2007 at 9:50 PM
Post a Comment | Permalink | View Comments
Rude. Nice. Sassy. Bitchy. I'll take anything I can get.

Meanwhile, that sucks. Bitchy coworkers? Need to shut their mouths.

Small houses? There will be a moment in your life when you move beyond that. I have to believe this because we live in a tin box with air holes. There has to be hope for something bigger down the road.

Health condition? You're working your fanny off to a better you. You're doing amazing!

Husbands? Well, I've got no help. Mine irritates the crap out of me too. Why do we keep them? Ah, yes. Love. :-p
Posted by Blogger Adventures in Baby Fat | November 04, 2007 11:01 PM  
It's so nice to see you back! I was getting worried about you.

Vent away. It's your blog. I know what you mean about wanting to keep your blog positive though. What I do when I really need to vent is go ahead and write the post. Half the time it never makes it to publish because just writing makes me feel better. And if it gets published, oh well. Everyone is allowed a cranky day!
Posted by Blogger Phat Phannie | November 04, 2007 11:50 PM  
Honey, it is YOUR blog. You can write whatever you damn well feel like and you know there are those of us who will read it. Besides, you named the thing "and rudeness" so we'd be stupid to expect sunshine and rainbows and ponies all the time. :)

Whenever I start to feel this way, I have to set a goal for myself. Like, okay, so my life sucks right now, but within ten years we will buy a house. Yeah, a ten-year goal is pretty far, but it gives you something to look forward to and work towards and I find it helps to keep that in mind. Maybe my life is not exactly where I want to be right now, but I have a picture of what I do want it to be evetually, I just have to figure out how to get from here to there.

When all else fails, I remember that someday my children will be grown and out of the house, I'll probably outlive my man, and hopefully I can spend my remaining days in a blissful Alzheimer's haze in a nice nursing home. Seriously, I sometimes look forward to that scenario, because there are days when that's a really attractive option.

Anyway, sorry for the rambling comment. I hope that things get better soon. Kepp your chin up, Ryan, and feel free to write whatever you want on your blog. We'll be listening.
Posted by Blogger Heidi | November 05, 2007 7:53 AM  
Hellooooo, blogs are great for venting. If you were all happy all the time we would know you were a big liar! Sorry to hear things are sucking right now, hang in there....it will get better. Glad you are blogging again!
Posted by Anonymous Emily | November 05, 2007 8:30 AM  
Girl...nobody's blog is all happy all the time!!! That just wouldn't be.....right. We are only human! Honestly, you are my friend, and I care about you. I want to hear about the happy, good times and how adorable your daughter is, and the icky, bad times when all you want to do is throw something. I'm here for you. ((hugs)) (hope that didn't freak you out too much)
Things may look down right now, but they will get better. They have to.
Posted by Blogger Brenda | November 05, 2007 1:13 PM  
It's ok to vent. We all do it. It's just a part of life, and it's usually better to get it out than keep it all in. Hang in there, I'm sure things will start going your way. I love reading your page, even when you vent!
Posted by Anonymous amanda | November 07, 2007 10:19 AM  
I had that problem once ONLY ONCE and was told by many friends as i see you to that I should write anything at all because that is what a blog is for...Wink...So just get it off your chest...He-he
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous | November 26, 2007 6:12 PM  
Hi. I'm new to the site, came here from That Chick's site. :) :)

Love you site.

Posted by Blogger Morgan Leigh | December 02, 2007 9:43 PM  
Such a tease! Come back to us, lovely bloggin' buddy!
Posted by Blogger Adventures in Baby Fat | December 09, 2007 10:33 PM  
I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. We miss you!
Posted by Anonymous Amanda | December 26, 2007 7:45 AM  
I know where you're coming from. Life does seem NOT to get better.
And you should never shy away from writing about all the crap.
It's what most of us relate to.

Posted by Blogger Daphne Spears | January 18, 2008 6:35 PM  
Ok, so I was going through my blogroll cleaning it out and all that. And came across your blog, and was all AWWWWWW, I miss Ryan! I hope she is doing ok, I hope her little girl is good. I really hope things are better since this post....but ya know, if they're not, spill your guts. Get it off your chest. Mainly I (and Whitney) just want to know that you're ok!
Posted by Anonymous Emily | February 26, 2008 2:43 PM  
Hey where have you been? I miss you!! Hope all is alright.
Posted by Blogger Brenda | March 07, 2008 6:59 AM  
I hope everything is ok your way. I can probably speak for everyone when I say we miss you! Thinking of you.
Posted by Anonymous Amanda | March 31, 2008 8:18 PM  
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and Flickr.
and daily rudeness.
and cool rudeness.
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