Welcome
to my blog.
I am a girl named Ryan.
Yes, a girl. Always been one... Will ALWAYS be one. I am also a daughter, sister, wife, mother and graphic designer. I blog here to share the stories of how I can some how manage to be all of those titles & SOMEHOW stay sane. If thats what you call it.
If you need me for anything or have a question about something... please email me at ryanikon@gmailDOTcom.
and about rudeness.
and rudeness
of the week.
fastlane rudeness.
You know when your schedule is so busy you dont even have time to stop and think? And you cant even remember what day it is? But all you know is you have to be somewhere NOW and you have to go to the store NOW and you have to drop off something NOW and you have to GO NOW AND DO NOW AND BE NOW! And OMG! I am in the fastlane, been stuck here for 3 days and I dont think I'm getting out for a couple more days.
and rudeness.
and old rudeness.
and find rudeness.

I couldnt help myself...

I am sure that everyone gets their fair share of forwards. I know I do. This one caught my eye... I hope it catches yours and brings a smile to your face.

Touching words from the mouth of babes.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.
See what you think:

Rebecca (age 8):
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."

Billy (age 4):
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."

Karl (age 5):
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."

Chrissy (age 6):
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."

Terri (age 4):
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

Danny (age 7):
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."

Emily (age 8):
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"

Bobby (age 7):
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."

Nikka (age 6):
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."

Noelle (age 7):
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

Tommy (age 6):
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."

Cindy (age 8):
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."

Clare (age 6):
"My mommy loves me more than anybody, You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

Elaine (age 5):
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."

Chris (age 7):
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."

Mary Ann (age 4):
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."

Lauren (age 4):
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."

Karen (age 7):
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."

Mark (age 6):
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."

Jessica (age 8):
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

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Posted by and rudeness at 12:57 PM
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We're all doomed.
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But, it's just a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (PRINTED ON THE BOTTOM!):"Do not turn upside down."
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??... what?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(...I'm taking this because???...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
( As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious. Any suggestions?)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "WARNING: Contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)

On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(OMG!... was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

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Posted by and rudeness at 9:18 PM
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Once, I was a "bad girl"...
ONCE. And only once that is. **wink wink**

Back in the day I swear I am the reason detention was invented. I still to this day have no idea how I managed to get out of so many days of school without a dent to my record. I mean, I NEVER missed, skipped or lied my way out of a class, homework assignment or entire day of school. EVA. And I hope my little Angel learns from her Momma and never ever EVER does anything I did or she will be growned from the rest of her life and never ever eva be able to leave her room until she is 40.

ahem.

So I was thrilled to come across this list and pray that I was a little smarter about my "absences."

(Thanks again www.snopes.com)
Some excuses received by high school attendance offices in notes from parents.

Dear school: Pleas exkuse John for being absent on January 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and 33.

Chris have an acre in his side.

Mary could not come to school because she was bother by very close veins.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

I kape Billie home because she had to Christmas shopping because I didn't no what size she wear.

John was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.

Please excuse Gloria, She been sick and under the doctor.

My son is under the doctor's care and could not take fizacal ed. Please execute him.

Lillie was absent from school yesterday as she had a gang over.

Please excuse Blanch from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday, she fell out of a tree and misplaced her hip.

Please excuse Joyce from jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Joey Friday, he had loose vowels.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football, he was hurt in the growing part.

My daughter wouldn't come to school Monday because she was tired. She spent the weekend with some Marines.

Please excuse Sandra from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps [cramps].

Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sour trout [sore throat].

Please excuse Wayne for being out yesterday because he had the fuel [flu].

Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father's fault.

Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever.

There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night.

Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals.

Please forgive Clarence for being absent from school the past few days. He was home sick from an operation. He had penis trouble and had to be serpent sized.

The basement of our house got flooded where the children sleep so they had to be evaporated.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diah.. diahoah.. dyah.. the shits.

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Posted by and rudeness at 9:54 PM
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SNOPES!
So apparently I am not the computer geek that I thought I was... there is a website out there that seems to be fairly popular (and for quite awhile I must add) and I knew nothing about it.

Tisk. Tisk.

However, my husband hadn't heard anything of it either. So I guess it didn't exist until today. Have fun and check it out! You'll enjoy. There is some great stuff you'll find. And some of it will shock you! I do recommend not opening it at work. It's addicting. And you'll waste half the day looking at it. And get nothing done.

But I am just assuming.

To give you a preview of some of the things I found... here is a little humor. Enjoy!
Thanks snopes.com!

The following are reputed to be actual statements found on insurance claim forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest possible words:

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving me warning of its intention.

I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve several times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother in law and headed over the embankment.

In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for a plant all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident and damage my big end.

As I approached the intersection a sign appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I stuck a pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, stuck my car and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run. So I ran over him.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out the way when I struck the front end.

The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.

I knocked over a man, he admitted it was his fault as he'd been knocked over before.

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Posted by and rudeness at 11:01 PM
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and Flickr.
www.flickr.com
and prior rudeness.
and daily rudeness.
and cool rudeness.
BONUS!
My site was nominated for Best Parenting Blog!
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